I like to keep up on the DEA, just to see what they are up to. Nothing much changes, they list their most wanted, state-by-state, they state their latest bust of whatever drug cartel. There is no mention about how many people are engaged into an intoxicant free lifestyle, more than likely that is because they don’t really do all that much. The DEA, I guess is an important agency, they must do something. I don’t know what they do but they consume huge amounts of money, so let’s take it on faith that they do something. I resent them because they are so well-funded when people really in the trenches in the drug war are ill-equipped and poorly supported. I had a field placement in a social work program at New York Hospital, people coming in with needles broken off in their arm, seizures, over-doses. It was gritty stuff. The copy machine NEVER worked, ever, it was a complete piece of shit. I am sure the DEA never has this problem. I’ll bet they have a decent coffee maker too.
Perusing the DEA website, I happened upon their gift shop. Gift Shop? The DEA sells gifts? Who would want a DEA gift? What is a DEA gift? Looking through the DEA gift shop, there are some very disturbing items. The DEA rubber ducky struck me as particularly strange. A classic tub toy, cute, fun but even more special since it has a police hat and DEA logo on it. Is the duck able to bust into an apartment when not floating in a tub? The t-shirts, somehow were less odd. In addition to the duck, the DEA offers toddler romper suits that read “I’m gonna catch some bad guys, right after my nap”. Clearly the DEA doesn’t like addicts. They consider them ‘bad” and they want to instill that into the new generation of romper suit wearers.
There is some kind of campy appeal to this. I think I will buy a stockpile of them and it will be my signature baby gift, along with a DEA duck.